Fuck friday night traffic. Fuck smelly people who ride the bus from Boston to New York and think its ok to not use deodorant before a 4+ hour bus ride. Fuck chairs that recline leaving you with 2 inches of personal space.
This stop and go traffic is bullshit, but I guess that’s what you get with a 20 dollar bus ride from chinatown to chinatown.
I’ve now made this ride more then a dozen times and every time its the same characters.
50% asian people who feel like the ride symbolizes some sort of holiday where they purchase the smelliest of asian cusine and store it in the loudest of containers sure to piss off everyone within a 20 foot radius. THIS IS NOT FUCKING CHINESE NEW YEAR no feast is necessary for a trip to New York.
25% are young adults with their ipods blaring and cell phones on loud ringer so when they get the 8, 9, and 10th text messages of the ride 6 minutes in everyone can hear it except the stupid fucking bitch who is listening to britney spears’ “hit me baby one more time” on constant loop for the entirety of the ride.
There’s always 2 or 3 ridiculously homeless looking people on the bus. With plastic shopping bags full of random items that would make a gypsy hard from the mere thought of it. Of course these items can’t be stored with everyone else’s luggage, it has to be kept all in their lap and in their seat spilling over into mine.
This is one of the reasons I can’t sleep on these bus rides. I feel when I awake all of my shit will have been rifled through with some item removed that I won’t notice gone until well after we depart from the bus.
Some kid in front of me is watching porn on his laptop with all of these people sitting around. What kind of sick and depraved fuck does this on a bus full of 50 people. You’re an “adult” now. You can vote for the president of the united states. But still you think its a good idea to watch hard core anal flicks with people sitting all around you trying to get somewhere.
Maybe he can join the couple to my right who have a sweatshirt spread across their waists to semi-conseal the girl jerking her boyfriend off in broad day light. WHAT THE FUCK is our generation coming to when you can let your girl jerk you in public and you not give a care in the world who’s watching or what repercussions may be since it’s at least an indecent exposure charge for something like that.
I realize that the math doesn’t really work out up top with the quantities of passengers riding the bus. They are estimates and the other unaccounted for numbers are just normal people not bothering anyone and equally annoyed that we are in stand still traffic for a minor fender bender.
205 should be dope tonight assuming I make it to the city. (I would understand if God decided to chalk this up as an overall “loss” but knock off these disgusting excuses for life by having the bus barrel roll into a ravine on the side of the highway resulting in a fiery explosion where everyone dies)
Come by and share a drink, shoot the shit and get your dance on.
Reporting live from I-95.
Billy.
