In one day I have two of the stupidest fucking pairs of glasses come across my RSS feeds.

first from the design team of Desiree Heiss and Ines Kaag who dropped these monstrosites on the public from their Berlin-based design agency, BLESS.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!

Yea that looks like a good idea. As you slam your eyeballs repeatedly with little gold chains think to yourself, “1. Do I look like a complete fucking moron with these on? 2. Are the scratches on my retina really worth how “cool” I will look in these fucking “sun glasses?” If you answer YES to either of those just find a large tree and bring some short rope with you. Affix one side to the tallest branch on the tree and then the other side around your neck and quickly jump allowing your body to hang as an ornament of “cool” for everyone to see. Don’t forget to wear the glasses from BLESS either.

The second pair of glasses is from SLANTIES. I hope this is a joke. If it is then its really funny. If not I hope the same fate will meet you as the owners of the aforementioned BLESS glasses.

This guy is almost as cool as this group of people.

All I can say is, and this may or may not be racist but, these glasses are oddly reminiscent of the subjects of 2 of my prior posts and I don’t really know why you would want to portray yourself in this light to anyone. But if you enjoy walking into small objects that you can’t see in the peripheral vision that you once had before you put these “cool” glasses on then be my guest and purchase a pair, or 7 of these fuckers.

And if you really want yo be cool. I’d suggest putting yourself into a photoshoot along the lines of this one…